If you’ve ever been told “don’t wear that, it’s too revealing,”
you’ve heard the unspoken half of the sentence:
“It’s your job to manage other people’s thoughts.”
But here’s the reality—
if someone wants to sexualize you,
it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.
A baggy sweatshirt.
A floor-length skirt.
A turtleneck in mid-July.
It won’t stop the glance, the comment, or the story they build in their head.
The idea that fabric controls perception is comforting because it feels like control.
But it’s an illusion.
What actually changes when you dress “modestly” isn’t the nature of others’ thoughts—
it’s how much easier it is for them to hide those thoughts from you.
If we really cared about reducing harm,
we’d stop teaching people to edit their bodies,
and start teaching them to edit their gaze.