There was a time when touching yourself was about curiosity.
Then it became escape.
You weren’t exploring anymore.
You were escaping the weight of everything else.
It was comfort. Control. A moment of clarity in a world that didn’t make sense.
But something shifted.
Maybe it was the routine.
Maybe it was the boredom.
Maybe it was the way you kept showing up to your own body—
and feeling less each time.
The wonder was gone.
The spark replaced by a scroll.
A loop.
A way to get through the day.
And even if you felt nothing—
it still felt better than feeling nothing else.
That’s when you realized:
This wasn’t discovery anymore.
It was distraction.
Not wrong.
Just different.
And maybe it was time to ask—
“What am I really needing?”
Because sometimes what starts as play
becomes a performance you never meant to keep repeating.
And it’s okay to pause.
To re-learn what pleasure means.
To feel again—on your own terms.